One year ago...

Dear Noah,

It was about this exact time last year that Daddy and I were heading to the hospital. My water broke at home, and it seemed like the longest ride of my life.

Earlier that day I was at the salon getting a haircut and color when I just started to feel uncomfortable. I didn't say much, but once I got home I started to keep track of what I thought might be contractions. I did not want to be sent home for false labor so I wanted some real proof if we ended up going to the hospital. That proof turned into 6 hours of documented contractions while I paid bills, cleaned up the house and waited for Daddy to come home from work.
Looking back, I think it's how I dealt with the pain and uncertainty of it. I just stayed focused on the time and when the next one was coming.
Eventually we ended up at the hospital. I labored through the night, and you were born in the early hours of December 8th.
I think I've told you at least a few hundred times in the past year that you are a miracle. I know, every baby is, but you are my miracle. After three years of trying to conceive and three pregnancies, becoming a mom seemed just out of reach for quite a while. You changed all of that.

And while becoming a mom was a dream come true, it was probably the most difficult transition I've gone through. I had been a teacher for ten years, and it was only after leaving that job that I realized how much it had defined me. I was so grateful that I was the one caring for you each day, and yet I longed for those daily successes and accolades that I became accustomed to.

Every day I am reminded in some way that I have found my great work: being your mom.

I've joked that we prayed for a miracle, but I should have been more specific and prayed for a mild-mannered miracle. You were so unhappy for the first few months. Neither of us slept much, and I think we both cried more that we want to admit. :-)
But look at us now. Every day goes by too fast. I feel like I just can't get enough of you, and, despite being worn out, I miss you once you're asleep. Being your mommy is a demanding, sweet job, and being paid in smiles, love and laughter is just fine by me.
We are buddies. You have brought such energy and happiness into our family. We are amazed by you in every way: your silliness, energy, sociability, excitement, and ability to learn new things literally every day.

Oh, and your cuteness is just about more than I can take sometimes.

I'm so glad that love and attention are not limited quantities in our family. You surely get a lot of both, and that's just the way all of us like it.
I don't know what the future holds for the size of our family. Hopefully there will be other little ones. But I'm amazed at how content I am with you.

Just you.

To go from a reality where there might be none, to having an amazing ONE like you is awesome, wonderful and a miracle all wrapped up together. I am the luckiest.
Happy birthday, little man.

I love you.