Dear Noah,
It was about this exact time last year that Daddy and I were heading to the hospital. My water broke at home, and it seemed like the longest ride of my life.
Earlier that day I was at the salon getting a haircut and color when I just started to feel uncomfortable. I didn't say much, but once I got home I started to keep track of what I thought might be contractions. I did not want to be sent home for false labor so I wanted some real proof if we ended up going to the hospital. That proof turned into 6 hours of documented contractions while I paid bills, cleaned up the house and waited for Daddy to come home from work.
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Looking back, I think it's how I dealt with the pain and uncertainty of it. I just stayed focused on the time and when the next one was coming.
Eventually we ended up at the hospital. I labored through the night, and you were born in the early hours of December 8th.
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I think I've told you at least a few hundred times in the past year that you are a miracle. I know, every baby is, but you are
my miracle. After three years of trying to conceive and three pregnancies, becoming a mom seemed just out of reach for quite a while. You changed all of that.
And while becoming a mom was a dream come true, it was probably the most difficult transition I've gone through. I had been a teacher for ten years, and it was only after leaving that job that I realized how much it had defined me. I was so grateful that I was the one caring for you each day, and yet I longed for those daily successes and accolades that I became accustomed to.
Every day I am reminded in some way that I have found my great work: being your mom.
I've joked that we prayed for a miracle, but I should have been more specific and prayed for a mild-mannered miracle. You were so unhappy for the first few months. Neither of us slept much, and I think we both cried more that we want to admit. :-)
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But look at us now. Every day goes by too fast. I feel like I just can't get enough of you, and, despite being worn out, I miss you once you're asleep. Being your mommy is a demanding, sweet job, and being paid in smiles, love and laughter is just fine by me.
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We are buddies. You have brought such energy and happiness into our family. We are amazed by you in every way: your silliness, energy, sociability, excitement, and ability to learn new things literally every day.
Oh, and your cuteness is just about more than I can take sometimes.
I'm so glad that love and attention are not limited quantities in our family. You surely get a lot of both, and that's just the way all of us like it.
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I don't know what the future holds for the size of our family. Hopefully there will be other little ones. But I'm amazed at how content I am with you.
Just
you.
To go from a reality where there might be none, to having an amazing ONE like you is awesome, wonderful and a miracle all wrapped up together. I am the luckiest.
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Happy birthday, little man.
I love you.