My Readers

Sometimes something is happening and you have to quickly grab the camera, forget about the perfect settings and just capture a moment.  This morning was one of those times.

I was busy in the kitchen cleaning up breakfast when I looked over and saw these boys reading side by side.  Oh, it made my teacher/mama heart SO happy!

Noah has been a book lover since he could crawl.  Earlier this morning, when I got home from the gym, he and Nate were finishing Noah's first 'chapter' book, Nate the Great.  He loved it.  It's a pretty simple start, but not bad for a three year old. And his reading comprehension (there's the teacher in me coming out) is pretty good too.   We're both excited that he wants to read another one tomorrow.

In the past six months or so Luke has really become a book guy too.  It has taken a bit more of a deliberate, persistent effort on my part, but Luke definitely loves his books. Lately he'll go for any train book we can get our hands on, but he'll settle for a Donald Crews or construction book too.  Thank goodness for the library.  I love watching Luke self select books and look on his own.  Part of that is thanks to Noah.  Luke wants to be like his big brother in every way, including reading.  It was a good day for him when he could crawl up on the couch and read like Noah does.

I have seen Noah's vocabulary and imagination stretch and grow in remarkable ways thanks to all of the reading that goes on around here.  I can't wait to see Luke do the same.  We sure love our books!

The Fudgesicle

Luke was not about to be left out when Grandma Shauna was passing out Fudgesicles to all of the grandkids.  Mr. Independent was also not about to let me hold it for him. So I stripped him down to proper Fudgesicle eating attire, and he was one happy guy.

But he was also a little concerned that this yummy treat was making a mess.  Oh, I love that chocolatey face.

This was first Fudgesicle success!  Luke loved it and didn't mind taking a little dunk in the pool to get clean again. Oh, I love these fun things that summer brings!

Zoo Trips

We've been frequent zoo visitors lately. 

The boys and I took a couple of visits to the Folsom Zoo before it got busy with end of the year field trips.  Both Luke and Noah really like trying to catch the noisy peacocks wandering around.

Earlier this week we hooked up with Amy and Mads at the Sacramento Zoo.

These boys like the animals, but they really came for the train.  It's all we hear about from the moment we arrive.

18 Months!

Luke is 18 months old!

Height: 34 inches (93%)

Weight: 29.5 pounds (96%)

Head: 50 centimeters (98%)

So much is happening with this kid, I can't possibly capture it all in words and pictures.  I think what amazes us most is how much he's talking.  We hear new words every day.  He is especially interested in copying words that Noah says. I think my favorites right now are cah-cone (pinecone or popcorn, depending on the context), ba-bow (backhoe), and Whoa-wuh (Noah).  Whoa-wuh is the first thing he says when we get him out of his crib.  He sure loves his big brother.  He loves 'Do you want to build a snowman,' from Frozen.  As soon as it starts playing he says, "Mew man! Mew man!"

Luke's first sentence was about a month ago.  After giving him breakfast he said, "Day-do (thank you) Mama."  Earlier this week while driving in the car he said, "Mah-meeee wuv ooo." (Mommy, love you.)  Melt my heart.

And it's good we have some heart melting moments, because this kid has a strong personality.  He's independent and doesn't like to have help.  He can throw down an awesome tantrum for no reason at all.  Sometimes he does the naughtiest things when I leave a room (or backyard) for two minutes.

But, we get through it all and, once again, I'm so grateful for ten years of teaching some really hard kids.  It taught me some strong behavior management skills that I sure need with this guy.

Luke just likes to stay busy.

He still runs everywhere and can't get enough of being outside.  He loves the big kid slides at the park.

Interests right now include trains, dump trucks, lawn mowers and leaf blowers.  Every time we're in the garage he runs over to ours and says, "Nnnnnnnn," which in Luke language means lawn mower.  He runs to the window if a neighbor is using one.  Lawn mowers are an especially big deal around here.

Other great sounds Luke is making include a wolf howl, bees, and an impressive pig snort.  When you ask him what the train conductor says he'll tell you, "All aboard."  He loves dogs, finding planes flying in the sky, and when we get 'lucky' and the light rail train goes by.

A few weeks ago when we were having family prayer Luke folded his arms, unprompted, like a big boy.  It was another one of those sweet moments and also a reminder of how much he is soaking in every day.  I love his little 'amen' at the end of our prayers.

Every day I am thankful that this strong willed, high energy, sweet boy is a part of our family.  It is the best thing ever to spend the day with he and Noah!

Funeral Recap

Dad's funeral was a special day.   We sure cried a lot, but that's only because our feelings for Dad are so tender.  Kristina, Mom and I are incredibly grateful that Dad is free of a body that constrained his talents, abilities, and just everyday livelihood so much.  It was an honor to celebrate a life so well lived.

So many people who love and care about us came to give their support as we celebrated Dad.  Mom's teacher friends, my teacher friends, high school friends -- it was amazing.  There was an outpouring of love from the ward that Kristina and I are in.  They wanted to be there for us.   It was especially sweet to see Dad's coworkers from many years ago who came and expressed how much they admired him personally and professionally.

We were all a bit surprised how word spread through the Farm Credit/Ag banking world.  I sent an email to one person and before long we were receiving emails from a number of states.  My mom received the most beautiful flowers from Farm Credit of Utah, where Dad last worked 33 years ago.  Pretty amazing. 

It was a priceless gift to hear people express such tender sentiments about Dad, because it meant that so many others recognized how special he was.  Chris Oswald, a long time friend and former coworker of my dad summed it up perfectly when I talked to her on the phone by saying, "Your dad was a tremendously special human being."  Another long time friend's daughter laughed with me and shared that "Your dad was my mom's favorite person next to my own Dad.  You wouldn't believe how often we heard her say 'I wonder what DeWayne would do.  Let's give him a call.'" 

Kristina and I were assigned to speak.  It felt like a burden only because I felt like I could never capture in words the feelings that were in my heart.  But it really was a special opportunity to share Dad's life and goodness with others, and it forced me to go way back into my memory and recall so many sweet times that we've had together.  It also helped me remember him in his prime, which has been hard to do sometimes in the past few years.

We were thankful to be surrounded by so many loved ones.  Uncle Dean, Aunt Susan, Charlie, Uncle Denny, Joshua, Gram, and Aunt Linda were just who we needed to feel the love of family.   I am so grateful Dad's brothers could come.  They are good men who love my mom dearly.  

Dad loved his daughters' husbands.  He wanted us to be loved like he loved Mom, and Nate and Jason are truly taking good care of Dad's girls.  They have also stepped in to help Mom with whatever she needs.  We are so blessed. 

The McDowells, our practically lifelong friends, were such a support throughout the week. Lynette was knocking on my mom's door at 7:30 Monday morning to see what she could do,  Kristen brought us a much needed dinner, and I was in tears as I read a message from Tamra that said she was coming to the funeral all the way from North Carolina. 

Years ago we started calling ourselves the "McHall" family because we're just that close.  I love these girls, and am so grateful to call them 'sisters.'

Noah doesn't say much about it, but I think he misses Papa.  Sometimes he wants to talk about him.  He'll be playing with a toy and say something like, "Hey, Mom, you know Papa likes trains."

Just today on the way home from church he asked, "Mom, why did Papa have to die?" So, we talked about it again. I'm so grateful that this little boy got to experience just a tiny bit of Papa's goodness.  They were true buddies.

Luke looks at pictures all of the time, points to Papa, and says his name. Every time we see someone using a walker or wheelchair he says, "Papa, Papa."

He won't remember their time spent together, but Papa is very alive in our conversations and memories, so I think Luke will get a pretty good grasp of how special his Papa is to us.

It truly was a beautiful day.  It felt like every second, from the moment I walked into the chapel until I went to bed late that night, was infused with love.  There was so much goodness, so much love, and so MANY hugs from dear, dear friends.  Dad would have been touched, and maybe even a bit surprised, that he was loved by so many. 

Monday, May 12

Monday. 1:20 a.m.

When your phone rings at 1:20 something is definitely wrong.

It was my mom.  She was on her way to Eskaton after receiving a call that my dad had fallen and wasn't breathing.  Looking back on that, we all kind of laugh a bit, because my mom asked the worker if she should go to Eskaton or meet the paramedics at the hospital.  Given the time and nature of the call I would have said the same thing. I didn't say it, but in our phone conversation when my mom told me that Dad wasn't breathing I thought, "So, he's dead?  I mean if he's not breathing then..."  

Turns out that since the staff isn't medically certified they can't make a declaration of death, so saying he wasn't breathing was the best they could do. He had indeed passed on.  As far as we know it was relatively quick.  The staff check on each resident every two hours.  Dad was fine at 11 p.m., but by just after 1 a.m. he was gone.  Such mercy.

Nate was out of town (of course!) so his mom came over to be at home with the boys.  Kristina picked me up, and we headed to Eskaton as quickly as we could to meet up with my mom.  After hugs and a few deep breaths, we entered Dad's room.  He was laying on the floor looking more peaceful than I've seen him in years.  I knelt down next to him, closed his eyes, gave him a kiss and said, "You did it Dad!  You got out of this body!  I am so happy for you!"  Sometime after that the tears started flowing, but in those first moments I really did feel only joy.  All of us experienced something special in that room as we knelt around Dad.  There was a closeness to Dad and Heaven that really can't be explained in words.

After saying our goodbyes and spending a little time together in Dad's room, we called the funeral home.  It took about an hour for someone to arrive, but we didn't mind. We spent most of our time counting our blessings and being grateful that Dad was at rest.  On Mother's Day, Mom had visited Dad.  During that visit she reassured him that Jason, Kristina, Nate and I were taking good care of her. And, if he got the opportunity to go, to die and move on, he should take it.  About eight hours later he was gone.

(The last picture I took of Dad, three days before his passing.  He and Luke loved sharing a bag of chocolate chip cookies.)

Dad's physical and mental condition could have become so much worse.  He was just losing his ability to walk and likely would have been confined to a wheelchair in a matter of weeks.  His 'good days' were becoming fewer and fewer.  For him to go now, before his condition deteriorated even worse was merciful for him and us.  It has been heartbreaking to watch this disease progress, and it has been even worse for him to experience it.

From the beginning Mom has done all she could to make sure Dad had the best care possible.  It has been exhausting in every way for her.  But if his condition had continued to worsen it could have put her in financial ruin.  She was willing to do that, but, wow, I'm so grateful we're not facing those hard decisions sometime down the road.

In our waiting for the funeral director we cried tears of gratitude and love.  We knew this day would come, I just don't think any of us thought it would be quite so soon.  I definitely felt feelings of loss and sadness, but they were balanced and even outweighed by relief for my Dad.  We have been grieving him for years as we've watched death come slowly.  There would no longer be tears as I drove away from Eskaton wishing things were different.  I knew this journey for Dad was the best thing for him at this time. 

Once Dad was taken to the funeral home, Mom wanted the room cleaned out.  We removed everything but the big stuff, which Jason took care of later that day.  I arrived home around 6, just as the sun was coming up.

At breakfast time I explained to Noah what had happened to Papa.  In between bites of oatmeal he said, "That makes sense Mom.  So does Papa get to see Grandpa Boyce now?"  Indeed, he does.  I love that boy.

Luke and Noah spent the day with Grandma Shauna while Kristina and I joined my mom at the funeral home, followed by the cemetery.  It was a LONG day.

Nate was supposed to be in Vegas until Thursday, but surprised me by changing his flight and arriving home late Monday.  I could have made it through the week without him, but, oh, it would have been a challenge.  Having him home to help with the boys at night or pick them up in the evening wherever I had to leave them that day made all the difference.  Not to mention that I needed a few good Nate hugs at the end of those long days.

The rest of the week was spent notifying friends and family, making and confirming travel arrangements, and finalizing funeral plans.  My goal was to say yes to anything my mom needed.  It was busy and long, but a wonderful week spent completely focused on my family.  

Funeral Program

My talented friend Annie did an amazing job on the program.  She didn't hesitate when I asked for her help, and the end product was exactly what my mom wanted.